Wednesday, July 27, 2006
Where do I start? I have been putting on a happy face for so long now, I don't know how to be honest. Molly has been putting on a happy face for me for a while as well. Is this how you get through the shit that life throws at you? What I really want to do is drive my truck through someone's house and hope I do some damage. All you readers think that we are handling all of this with such grace and dignity. Bob is. Molly is (and I think that is partly drugs and partly shock and partly Bob's dna) but this angry, crazy old lady wants to extract justice. I never will, and for that, the limo driver should thank his short lived lucky stars. "Vengence is mine, saith the Lord." And that is one biblical phrase that I truely believe in. All the good spins that I have put on this blog are partly for Molly and partly for us, so that we can keep a positive attitude and help foster a good healing environment. The truth is that Molly has sustained an extremely horrible trauma that she will spend the rest of her life coping with. And it is all because this idiot driver thought he was too cool to consider safety first. Go ahead, Stanley, and claim that you checked your sideview mirror before you tore away from the curb. If you did, then you would have seen an open door with Molly getting into the car. That would make what you did intentional. You have completely screwed up a life, and from your past record, this isn't the first time. For once in your life, be a man and own up to your mistake. Maybe someone will take pity on you. Satan, perhaps?
posted by Molly's Page at 1:57 AM
73 Comments:
i anxiously await an update when i come to work since i work midnights. i feel a certain stress when there is no update. i am surprised at your outlook today. don't get me wrong it is totally justified. i don't even know molly but after reading about the new air bed yesterday i had this positive feeling that her recovery is moving along so well. from all i have read i can feel her strength and determination. you are correct, this is a horrific injury but before you know it, molly will be doing the normal thing you don't think probable right now.
reading these daily messages has made me realize what is truly important. i feel selfish that this is a therapy for me but if i can gain something from molly's bravery i will
let your faith keep you strong, you are surrounded by love from every direction, draw from it and don't waste precious energy thinking about that driver. he'll get what is coming to him!!!
If this had happened to my daughter I would feel the same. You have the right to your anger. I hope that limo driver serves the rest of his pitiful life in prison. Prayers for Molly and the whole family!
Cindy
Oh, Bernie. I don't know you or your family, but I wish I could give you a big hug right now. I'm glad you were able to acknowledge that you are angry. Not doing so wouldn't be healthy. Make sure you take care of yourself during this time. Don't try to deny that you are angry and upset.
What you need to find right now is a sound-proof room that you can go into and scream and curse until you are blue in the face. No doubt, you are bottling a lot up and you probably need a good release where nobody but God can hear you.
Kathy from NC
I read the blog everyday to track Molly's recovery. I have been thinking this whole time that your family must be in denial about what has happened. It's about time someone let her true feelings out. Anger is normal in this situation.
My dad used to own a limo company. The driver is supposed to stand at the door and load all of the passengers, close the door, and then return to the driver's seat. This driver obviously didn't follow protocall. I would be angry as hell, too. Actually, I am, and I don't even know Molly.
Molly will make it through this horrible ordeal, and she can still lead a normal life. There are several websites telling the stories of people who are hemipelvectomy amputees. Artificial limbs have helped them lead very normal lives. I'm sure Molly will, too.
Hang in there. You are a very brave soul dealt a horrific blow. Our Mighty Creator will bring the positive from this mess. Molly is a very special spirit and will shine through whatever trials layed upon her on this earth.
By no means should you offer any explanation or apology for the positive face you've tried to put on for Molly, for the family. You SHOULD be furious; you SHOULD feel like smashing concrete. This accident did not create a little blip in Molly's life. It created a huge detour and new path, a path that will have meaning and happiness, but not what you or she had imagined for her. It is a crime. I think about people in the Middle East whose lives are being torn apart and destroyed also. Life is precarious and painful, and ultimately we have so little control over so much. Let out your anger! Get into a kick boxing class, and then just get back to doing what you do each day. Help Molly heal, help her find some directions in life she will get meaning from, don't forget to take care of yourself too.
Bernie, I think that your anger and emotion are certainly understandable, and you are wonderful soul in my book for sharing all of this with us... your family, your friends, and people like me... total strangers who look in on Molly every day to see how she is doing. I have something to share that I think might help, too... while you probably think that justice will make you feel better, my experience has been that in the end, it does not. I had a brother-in-law who was murdered a few years back. The man who killed him was 20 years old. There wasn't a death penalty in the state that we lived in, but he was sentenced to 45 years in prision with no possibility of parole. He will be 65 years old when he gets out. I would've thought going through that, it would've brought some peace, some feeling of justice... it didn't. Our situation didn't change... he was still gone, we still miss him terribly. I also had a car accident a few years back, not nearly as bad as Molly's, but traumatic nonetheless. The driver who caused the accident has payed in many ways, but it didn't change much for me... I still have pain every day, have trouble walking some days, can't run with my kids. Try real hard to focus on those wonderful wonderful kids of yours and know that the justice that you seek probably won't give you the feelings and closure that you think it will. Nothing can put things back to right... not all the money in the world, not if the limo driver was put in jail for the rest of his life even. Hang in there, you're an inspiration to us all, whether you're putting on a brave face or letting it all out, you're one heck of a woman!
Bernie-- You have every right to be angry. I'm sure the therapists are going to tell you're going to go through all kinds of highs and lows and emotions. But you, more than anyone else, has every right in the world to be very, very angry. I appreciate hearing how Molly is doing and I don't even know your family except through the media and the web site. I just care. If you need someone to vent to, someone to go for a walk around the block around the hospital and bitch at, hell I'll come meet you. Stay strong. Heck, even anger keeps your strong. Don't feel guilty. Stanley is the guilty party here. You're the Mother who is doing a great job. Keep tough. Deb, timinggirl@aol.com
Bernie,
You are right, it's hard to put on a happy face when you know the reality of the extent of Molly's injuries - her life is never, ever going to be the same. The plans she made to be married, have kids and things like that will never be the same, and that horrible piece of shit roams free and that is a travesty.
I will never understand why the DA chose such a weak charge, especially when it's clear what happened and wasn't it taped via a security camera down the street?
I will never understand why people can ruin people's lives and then get minimal sentences.
That man should be sentenced to life in prison, and then maybe just maybe he will suffer half as much as our Molly.
Even when it's hard Bernie and even when you're faking it for the benefit of us all, we know that there is pain and justifiable anger...at this point...since the legal system isn't going to do much about it...say whatever you want to say...and be as angry as you want to be, it's your right.
As far as that callous loser goes, a real man wouldn't be in this position and wouldn't have to lie about his actions, he wouldn't have gotten out of the limo after driving half a mile and blamed the kids.
A real man would be doing everything he could to take responsibility and to express true remorse for having made a horrible mistake.
Clearly, this man's entire life is a mistake and Molly and you all are this mistakes victims.
Hang in there Bernie, and take care of our girl - best you can!
All the love in the world!
Joni
Dear Bernie,
People have written so eloquently here this day. All I can say Dear Bernie is "God Bless You". Try and take one step at a time, or it becomes to overwhelming. You have strength Bernie beyond your wildest imagineings.
I think we all understand how angry you are. I think everyone that reads this blog and prays for Molly and your family are just as angry that something like this could happen to such an beautiful and wonderful girl.
It is your right to vent, and thank God that we are all here to listen. I truely believe that this man will get his in the end. He knows what he did, but pretends that it is nothing. He will pay in the end.
Bernie you are a truely strong person, I'm sure that it has been difficult to put on a happy face everyday. Please know that there are thousands of people praying for Molly, you, Bob and Katie everyday.
Always remember that you have tons of support. We are here to listen or help in any way we can.
God Bless you all.
You go girl. Anger is healthy. We're still here for you.
But make no mistake, you have been going through this with grace.
I believe you will continue to, and this is a very graceful display of your healthy angry humanity.
We're still listening.
I have to say I'm relieved to hear your anger. It's normal, it's healthy. It's true that you have to deal with the 'what is'. How can you do that without raging first?
One of the reasons I read the blog everyday is because I ache for Molly and you and all of her family and Iwant to see her heal and succeed and see justice work for her. I myself, would like to ask this guy some questions. I think all your readers recognize the happy, strong faces you are putting on. I think it's natural to try to put those faces on. You are deserving of having a bad day in which you want to lash out and get ahold of "him". Bernie, you are justified, you are justified in all of the feelings you are having. Your readers try and rely positive messages to you, but we are outraged at how something like this could happen. I don't begin to understand your pain or feel your grief. I know that you have a support group all over the US that spans much further than my little desk here in VA. I pray for you daily and hope tomorrow is a better day.
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
--Mark Twain
Dearest Bloom Family,
Stephanie, said it all for me, I couldn't have said it any better. You are in my continued prayers and daily thoughts.(((((Hugs)))) Tina
I first heard about Molly's story on National news last week. I grew up in Lakewood and went to Lakewood High so I feel a certain kinship with people from Colorado. I have been deeply affected by Molly's story and even though I don't know any of you I have shared in your grief and the anger you showed today. I keep thinking back to what I was doing that Friday before the accident and I have wished over and over that somehow I could change the past. I hope that limo driver roasts in hell for all eternity. I can't believe that he's not being prosecuted for attempted murder. I truly wish that there was some way I could help your family but know that there are sincere prayers being said for all of you. I think about Molly every day and wish her the very best. She seems like a wonderful person and I'm just so sorry that this terrible tragedy had to happen to such a lovely young girl. God bless all of you.
Bernie-
Thank God you can still be so very angry- there is life and passion in your heart! You have come through abject fear, despair, black hoplessness to a place of hope and anger. All for something you should never have had to experience. You should be doing dorm rooms and crying over the empty nest, and watching with glee as Molly grew up. A hospital- any hospital is not right. And yes you have shown grace and courage at EVERY STEP and I am a good judge. Take whatever time you need to be pissed, and angry, then you will feel better and all of you will will move on together. Forgiveness may never come but perhaps peace will. You do not need to be so strong all of the time Bob and the girls will all help and expect the same in return. I hold you in my heart. Sally
I'm sure that this site has probably been referenced before, but just in case -- http://www.hphdhelp.org/
Kathy from NC
Finally!
I was wondering how you could be so composed about this injustice, when I was fuming!
This man's life should be impacted far more for his recklessness.
And - how about a limo company hiring someone with a proven record of irresponsibility (DUIs)?
And - how about them subjecting teenage girls to a man who has been convicted of sexual abuse of a child? Have they no procedure for background checks?
Bernie, you and Bob should OWN that company!
You are an amazing family - and your VERY HUMAN anger is no less inspiring than the tender love you share with your family. You have channeled the energy into healing, and as Molly improves it will rear its ugly head from time to time...it's nothing more than energy, and you will learn to channel it to benefit your family.
Peace.
Anger is real and it's OK to express that anger. Molly will know that you are expressing anger on her behalf which is healing to her. It also gives her permission to express anger when she has the need. Always be real, it is a healthier place to live and will lead to inner healing.
A woman I know was left paralyzed from the chest down after being hit by a car while she was in the crosswalk. The person driving the car was found not guilty in the criminal and civil cases (even though the person ran a stop sign and hit the woman so hard she went thru the windshield). The woman had hoped the person who hit her would have to pay a monthly financial reward for the lifelong medical needs caused by the accident. She told a family member that even if it had been $50.00/month she had wanted the person to be forced to write a check every month as a reminder they had put someone in a wheelchair. Her family member thought it sounded mean and vengeful but in truth she was being real - she was angry about what had happened to her because of someone elses actions.
Your feelings are real and normal. You should also know that this same woman is living a passionate and full life, competing in triathalons and she always seems to have a boyfriend at her side. Her physical challenges have fired a greater passion inside her for living and she wins the admiration of all who know her.
A huge hug for you and your family. Be angry but in the end live passionately - all of you. God bless.
Bernie,
You have every reason to be angry, and expressing anger the way you are doing helps to get beyond it. I personally feel pain thinking about what has happened to Molly and anger toward that idiot Stanley and the company he drove for, 5th Avenue N Style Limousine (I hope he is not still driving!). In the early articles in the news the owner of the company defended Stanley as an exemplary employee! I hope the word is out not to use this company. They must not train their drivers in proper chauffeur protocol. By the way, were the kids refunded their $1,000? See, I had to let out some anger, too!
Susan
Bernie,
I've been reading these blogs today and I see that justice is not always served in our country.
Two years ago I was in a car accident. I was stopped at a red light and hit from behind by a guy going 70. It's been a long road for me but what bothers me most is that the person who hit me got no more than a slap on the wrist. He said he didn't see me or the light. How can THAT be?
Why these careless crimes are overlooked is beyond me. What happened to Molly is a crime. You have every right to be angry. I know that I speak for others when I say we are angry with you.
Stay strong! You are all amazing people!
Hey Mom - I'm kind of glad to read that you aren't all smiles. It's very healthy for you to want to seek revenge or get justice. Maybe a Hummer and a tux for the limo driver? I'm sure we could get a whole bunch of people to "check to mirror" before they stepped on the gas.
I am the parent of an 18 year-old son and can only imagine the terror, anger,..... I hope you have someone and somewhere where you are able to cry, scream, pound the walls....whatever you need to do to let some of these emotions be released. You are human and need to release all of what you are feeling.
Know that you and your family are in my prayers.
Bernie ~
Thank you so much for being so honest with "us" ... the hundreds upon hundreds of friends, family and strangers who have been reading Molly's blog every day since that sucky day in May and all those who have come along since. You have a right to scream, yell and be very angry!!! Thank you for letting us see that, too. So many of us have come to care so deeply about Molly and your family. We pray for you many times every day still and wish there was something we could do to really help ... water your lawn, grocery shop for you, drop by a meal at the hospital (do you eat hospital food every day?!! ... I worked in a hospital kitchen in high school and I can't imagine eating that stuff daily for weeks on end!!), call one of those lawyers on TV that you call if "you've been hurt in a car accident". I just thank you so much for taking the time several times a week to let us know how Molly, you, Bob and Katy are doing. You have become family ... and we love you! So please, feel free to vent whenever you need or want to. This whole ordeal is the ultimate SHIT ... but someday it will be much, much, much better. Easy for us to say, huh?! But that little sweetie of yours is a strong one and she's gonna come out even stronger and more amazing at the other end. Hang in there. God bless.
Without going into a lot of detail my son is 26 and lost his leg above the knee in a boating accident when he was 17. At the time, another mom of another teenage boy who had been thru a similar trauma gave me a book called "All I Could Do Was Love You" I would have to look to see how the author was...but it was written by a mom who's teenage daughter lost her leg to trauma. It was her diary of that time. Reading that book helped me tremendously to realize that I was truly not going crazy...and that my feelings were valid I am praying for you and Molly and your family.
Bernie,
I love the hugs you have received. Here's mine (((((Bernie))))). And one for (((((Bob, Molly, Katy))))).
On another note. I am sure there is a special place in Hell for such people.
Jay
I think a good punishment for the limo driver would be to work on a hospital floor with accident victims like Molly, and let him see the harsh reality of it all. Prison would be way too easy.
Dear Bernie,
I looked up "All I Could Do Was Love You" on Half.com, and it's by Marlys Lehmann, and it's out of print. There are many copies available on Half.com, starting at 75 cents each plus shipping ($3.25 for paperback & $3.70 for hardcover). I don't know anything about the book, but Half.com would be a good way to get a copy.
I don't know you except through this blog, but you and Molly, and the rest of your family, are all in my prayers.
Anne in Boulder
Bernie,
Thanks for sharing! It's so good for "us" to see all the sides of what you and your family are going through. I know that there are so many people out there who, if they could, would take some of your pain and anger for you. I know I would. I'm sorry for what you are going through...but you are not alone...you and your family have many followers standing behind you...holding you up...raising their hands in anger. Wishing we could do more......
April in Denver
As natural as vengeance feels especially to us mothers – we don’t get to dole it out. How ironic that somehow we are so driven to get revenge and even in the rare case when circumstances provide for it, there has to be very little satisfaction. Because let’s be honest, the only true satisfaction here would be to have Molly whole again. Mourning that loss… what she's lost and has had to face and continues to stare down every day, is huge and no amount of infliction of pain or misery on anyone will make up for that incredibly huge price, as desirable as it seems.
God Bless You Bernie, sleep calmly and soundly knowing somewhere Molly is finding the strength to be whole again.
Hi Molly, I am really touched by your story and would like to support you in some small way. I'm a co-founder of an internet start up called ChipIn (www.chipin.com) that enables individuals to collect money from groups of people. Once you create a chipin event, you can post a widget to your blog. see http://blog.chipin.com for an example. every dollar raised will go directly to you and your family... we will waive all fees. I think this will make it much easier for people to contribute because they can pay by credit card or paypal. Please email me if I can help you set up an event. my email is Mike at ChipIn dot com . Blessings to you and your family.
*East Angel Mom* recently expressed the following:
"And - how about a limo company hiring someone with a proven record of irresponsibility (DUIs)?
"And - how about them subjecting teenage girls to a man who has been convicted of sexual abuse of a child? Have they no procedure for background checks?
"Bernie, you and Bob should OWN that company!"
I would like to SECOND that. Stanley is a liar, and the morons who hired him should be held accountable.
Many of us who have been following this blog from Day One have wondered about the details of his lies, and also who the jerk is that occasionally posts a rationalization for what happened, i.e. *blame the victim* mentality.
You DESERVE to be angry.
C
Molly and Family,
I have been reading your blog each day and it is an inspiration. Mom, let yourself go through this anger, it is not healthy to bottle it in, though I know you probably feel like you are letting someone down to not keep up the "happy face." You would only be letting yourself down. Anger has its place in healing and soon it will become a positive force for you, rather than a negative one. One piece of advice, be prepared to do some counseling for PTSD. I was hit headon at high speed by a drunk driver and was trapped in my car for nearly an hour. The post trauma was immense as I'm sure Molly's is or will be. It really helps to talk it out with an uninvolved professional. I can't begin to know what you are facing but I thought that might help.
Love and prayers from all the way in Oregon.
I just learned of Molly and the ordeal she and your family have endured since prom night. Having been the primary caregiver of an above the knee amputee before and after he lost his leg and until his death (due to other health complications and age), I can relate to what you have gone through during your seemingly endless days in a hospital setting; the shock, the anticipation, the ups and downs, and yes, even the anger. I, like you, had to try to keep up a good "front"- not let this person whom I had grown to love and admire, see my fear or know I was worried and scared. He, likewise, was trying to cope also with his life changing tragedy. Though he was brave and always maintained that great sense of humor he always had, was also trying to be strong for MY sake. Then one day, quite unexpectantly, and long after his hospital discharge, I saw the anger he had tried to hide, and since I was the main person in his contact 24-7, he let it go, lashing out at me, and do you know what? We both shared, through words and tears, pent up feelings of anger (in this case we had no one to blame, since it was medical reasons that caused his numerous health complications). But nonetheless we were angry at the unfairness of life. I tearfully and (yes, I admit, angrily) told him that I cried just as many tears as he did when he lost his leg, and that it's ok to be angry because it wasn't fair, LIFE wasn't fair! And I told him it was ok to be mad, and because I realized he wasn't mad at me, I told him that I could handle whatever he had to say- at least he was being real and honest. So, you see, I do understand your anger- the difference here lies in the fact that you DO have someone to blame, which probably intensifies your anger because of the unjustice of it all. Anger derives from emotional hurt. In the midst of your turmoil, I feel helpless because I know there's nothing I can do to ease the pain or the heavy load of your family or Molly. And I'm not good at quoting scripture, but the following bible verse comes to my mind: "Come to me all ye that are heavy laden and I will give you rest." I will be following Molly's progress, and the news concerning the limo driver. Believe me, you have every right to feel outraged, and I can only hope that the law will realize that justice should be served by giving the driver the punishment he deserves.
With love from my heart to yours.
Way to go, Molly, on balancing. That can be difficult for someone who has lost a leg, but in order to walk (which I know in time you will because of your great stamina), being able to sit up and balance is ESSENTIAL to one day being able to walk. I know, I've been there. All these sometimes painstaking therapy sessions will give you strength to prepare you for that day of celebration when you start to wear your prosthetic, and you'll feel a sense of achievement that's undescribable... and yes, you ARE beautiful and you WILL feel normal again and will be able to fullfill all your dreams, past, present and future.
Dear Mrs Bloom,
Smile and all these people reading this blog will smile with you, cry and we'll cry with you, too. I think it's amazing that you are able to vent your anger with such clarity – I hope that one day in spite of the apparent lack of justice regarding the limo driver, the anger will slowly subside.
Best wishes for the weekend and please tell Molly that another Molly is thinking of her.
X
Hello Bernie, I want to tell you Bernie, that anyone can understand your pain and anger. The truth is though, you have dealt with this very well. You are strong and a wonderful mother. I never thought you ever sugar coated anything. I know you wish you could trade places with Molly, that's what loving parents do. I can't imagine how hard this must be. The fact that Molly's friends are going off to school makes it so much harder. Keep your faith Bernie, God is always with you. I'm sure we will all understand this better some day.
I'm going on vacation for a week so I will check back when I get home. The family is going fishing up north. I'm dreading those gas station bathrooms on the way up. Why do they lock those gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone is going to clean them? I also am not looking forward to the horse flys by the lake. There big and they bite. I always catch one and tear off one wing. Then I let him go and say, "Tell your friends."
Stay strong friend. Denver Bob
I think that you need to focus on whats going on with your daughter instead of you. I understand that you are going through a lot of pain and heartache but atleast she is still here and she apparently is handling it well the best she can for what has happend and you aren't. Maybe you should look at your daughter she is the one who has to go through it the rest of her life....not you! Everytime I read one of these you seem so selfish!
I cannot believe the comments of the person who wrote at 9:51am. If you don't have something positive to say, please don't say anything at all. This is a place to try to help this family heal, not criticize them. Jeez!!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I just had to respond to the previous post. I don't know if it's true of all moms, but for me, when one of my kids is suffering, I'm suffering, too, sometimes more. I think many moms can't help but feel with all our hearts that we'd rather be the ones hurt instead of our kids. So, when something bad happens to a child, something bad happens to the mom, too. It's not selfishness. I don't see any selfishness from Molly's mom -- I see her trying to be there for Molly while coping with her own grief so she can continue to be there for Molly.
Anne in Boulder
By "previous post" I meant the one at 9:51 A.M.
Anne in Boulder
Wow. To the "anonymous" who wrote at 9:51:
The force and energy in your words makes me wonder why Bernie's pain and anger pushes your buttons so much. It seems like you have a lot of your own pain that is being brought up when you read how badly Bernie is hurting.
If this is the case, I hope you can find a place to look at your pain and heal.
"Vengence is mine saith the Lord." I think you need to look at that a little closer. Vengence is His, not yours. Yes, you do have every right to be angry. But to sit here, and rip apart this man? Do you know him? I don't think so...only Christ knows him and his heart, so only He can judge him and only he can have his vengence. Our job is to love this man unconditionally like Christ loves us. You slamming his name and saying all the things you would like to happen to him are not only irrational, but a horrible example for your daughter. It is VERY natural to have these feelings, but to broadcast them is pointless, and my guess is that it has probably gotten you nowhere. Love this man like you love your own daughter, and I can guarantee you that you will find peace.
Mrs. Bloom needs encouragement, support and understanding at this extremely difficult time, not judgement. Unless we have been exactly in her position, we should all be very careful with our advice.
To the family, may things get easier for all of you soon.
East Mom
Dear Molly Bloom & Family,
It's been awhile since I last wrote you a message, but you have been in my thoughts and prayers. On the eve of my East High School 25th reunion, I thought I'd provide you with a brief blast from the past, since I friend of mine told me you were a music lover.
I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for you knowing that the Limo Driver Who was responsible for your accident is currently free. Animals like this irresponsible guy should be sitting behind a brick Wall, or sent out into space on the Dark Side of the Moon. Evenutally the truth will prevail, and this Sticky situation will be resolved. Only a Fool would believe this guy's story, but when Takin’ It To The Streets, it doesn't take a Classic Detective to figure out Who is at fault.
Well ... During these tough time, when you are in need of an Emotional Rescue, and you are Feeling Blue, just remember that you can always get a Litttle Help from my Friends to pick you up. So ... Ladies & Gentlemen ... Although it may be a Long and Winding Road to recovery, in the long-run We Will Rock You, and you'll be singing We are the Champions!!!
One day justice will be served, so until then, try to focus on things in your control, and for the rest of this mess ... Let It Be. Please trying to remain stong, and History will tell the true story. They say Pictures says a thousand words, and this Classic Tale of what is right and wrong, will be judged in a higher court some day.
Well ... I hope things continue to improve for you and your family in the months to come, and remember that there are many Ancient Angels that have your back baby!
Wishing you the very best from the Class of '81.
... Buzz
Dear Mrs. Bloom -
Oh dear, I hope after today you will still want to write to us about the progress of Molly. In an attempt to make you feel better, some of us find the need to share their advice which seems negative. I suspect it is just their way of wanting to help and to share their beliefs.
You are just doing the best you can, and we need to remember Molly's accident affects you, and your entire family in a very very intense way. All of your lives have been turned upside down, and it is only normal and natural to be very profoundly upset. In my own family I had a family member who was terminally ill, and I well remember how tired one can become, especially in the hot summer, just going to the hospital all of the time. Remember, and hold fast to the truth of, 'this too, shall pass.'
I want to believe that one element of Molly's remarkable progress has been the loving prayers she has received from her family, friends, and now, people from all over the United States and the world. The power of positive thoughts is profound in their power. The power of your mind, to stand like a centurian against thoughts that are negative, has and will continue to have a healing effect upon you, your family, and beloved Molly.
Dear Mrs. Bloom, the universe is so well ordered, the creator of us all is so wise, justice will be served, -- try if you can to know this. Let a higher power than the Denver District Attorney ensure that the driver learn his lessons.
Your mesaage board has been for me a spiritual experience, for in hearing about Molly's progress the absolute power of loving prayer for me is affirmed.
Take some time for yourself, Miss Molly has to have time alone to think of her own healing thoughts, make sure that you take care of YOU!
Sending you my love, I am an...
Old East Angel
How dare any of you judge Bernie. She is at the hospital everyday from ungodly early hours until late at night, many times all night, with Bob by her side. Anyone who has been in the hospital with Bernie knows that, if anything, she worries too much aout Molly. She does focus on what is going on with Molly, and that is where this rage comes from. Bernie and every member of the Bloom family has to go through this for the rest of their life. They have to help her with therapy, make changes to their house, get a different car, etc...
I guess I am just wondering if any of you have heard of the Whitney Cerak ordeal. After someone with a horrible driving record crossed the centerline, killing five people, and injuring six -one to the point of being in a coma for five weeks with a family who mistakenly identified whitney as their own because of a mixup back at the accident by the coroner. And out of all this who are they mad at? Who are they blaming? Well I guess no one will ever know. I am not sitting here judging Mrs. Bloom at all. I am simply saying that her talking about running her car into a house and seeing what happens or bringing up the devil being the only one who will have pity on that man is probably not the best approach. It's okay to think those things, but to act out on them by publishing them on a very public blog is wrong. Obviously other people agree with her, but everyone giving her a slap on the back like "yeah..that's a good idea..." is probably not helping. Back to the Cerak story-I guess you could say they don't really care who's fault it is-they know that God will sort their situation out, and their only job is just to take care of that little girl. So I believe this comment section is about voicing your oppinion to the Blooms and no one else, so it shouldn't affect anyone else.
Stephanie, I thank you for your well written response to the craziness happening today!
Bernie-
Feel whatever you feel, and express it how you need to. You, too, have much healing ahead of you, as does your whole family. Anger and not putting on a "happy face" does not make you weak! You are much stronger than you know or realize. And you are a wonderful example to your girls- being honest and open with feelings is healthy and needed!!! Please know there are so manyof us praying for ALL of you. Thank you for sharing Molly's life, and yours, with us. God bless alll of you!
The Bloom Family,
You have provided us,(your blog audience), with the gift of being able to look in on your family day by day. What a privilege to view your challenges and struggles as you so honestly express them to us and allow us to be participants with you in your daily life. I'm grateful for such a giving spirit. Writing to us is a way of releasing things on paper and a way of reaching out to all of us who care, pray, and are watching to see the events of each unfolding day in the tapestry of your lives. So what is anger? One definition is that it is a cause or source of distress. Distress causes anxiousness, worry, and mental strain resulting from exhaustion. Exhaustion mentally, physically, and emotionally. Needing rest but being unable to rest even when you lay down for the night or sleep in a chair next to the bedside of the one you love so much. Everything feels and seems like it is out of control and, yet a "new plan" has been designed for all of your lives. The "old plan" has been changed by an unforeseen event in your family's history. Giving up "old plans" is not easy, some steps in the process come with the territory (1) the step of shock (2) disbelief, (3) anger, (4) acceptance and (5) discovering the way to allow the new plan to develop moment by moment. May you continue to enlighten us as you keep on persevering.
To all of you who feel they can judge my friend Bernie I have one thing to say to you. F#$* You. If you want to post a comment like that leave your name. Let people know who you are. Better yet, don't post a comment. None of you know what Bernie is going through. I think some anger is good and normal at a time like this. I'm Denver Bob, and I approve this message.
To the Blooms,
Love, happiness and living right is the best form of vengence.
It drives emotionally sick people (like those who recently decided to "volunteer their negative criticism and judgements) crazy because it is something they desperately want but never seem to obtain.
You naturally possess these qualities and the grace of your humanity and humility will continue to benefit all of you. Your anger is justified- go with it because it's fuel and what you eventually do with the anger that matters the most. You will produce something positive, you always have. Please, do not apologize for your feelings.
Dear Arm Chair Critics, Your opinions are like assholes, you all seem to know right where yours are located. Might I suggest that you take your slimey, self-centered pious remarks to another blog. This site is reserved for love, hope and support of the Bloom family. It is not about you.
For a month now, I have been angry that the driver, and now these few idiots are able to coast at the expense of others.
Well said. We continue to pray for and support you and your family Bernie.
I am confused by the post at 9:51. It is Bernie that is the author of this blog so it is of course her thoughts and feelings that are being posted. The only thing I can think of is maybe you are not a parent, if you were how could you NOT understand that Mollys pain is her familys pain.
Bernie, since I stumbled across this story and started reading your comments, I anxiously sign on once a day for updates, hoping Molly had a good productive and happy day, maybe one with raindrops! :)
I do believe in the power of prayer and think that you opening up to strangers is putting Molly and your family right at the top of many prayers across the country. I hope that the few neg. comments won't stop you from sharing your true feelings and story and Mollys progress. No one has the right to tell a person how they should grieve, that is what this really is, I believe people go through a similar process of grieving after a life altering tragedy such as this, similar to the death of a loved one, Anger is a very important step in that process. When I was 18 and my sister died unexpectedly and suddening I couldn't believe that the world could go on, for a very long time I made myself unhappy as it felt unfair to live my life when hers was taken away, I am sure she would have wanted me to live my life. I would guess that Molly wants you to have your true feelings and be honest with her and not feel guilty to take a break now and then and take care of yourself! This tragedy must feel like a lifetime to you, it is really such a short time ago, they say time heals all wounds, I don't know if it heals them but it certainly soothes them, your family seems so strong, what an inspiration, I am sure your family will find a new ''normal'', it just takes time, until then feel what you feel and ignore the negative people on here, they are few and far between and obviously have their own sadness in thier lives. Prayers from Delaware
ps Denver Bob, you are a crack-up, what great medicine your jokes are!!
Bernie and family,
Hang in there. I know this may not be too comforting but God does not give us more than we can handle. He obviously thinks you are very strong and from what I have read you are. Just remember that all the time you spend in anger you are not loving Molly. (but you must let it out too)
Love her, hug her, pray for her, and all of us out here will pray for all of you. Let God be your anchor! He never waivers! He is all we have when the world is not right.
Until someone walks in your shoes, anything less than complete support and sympathy is not acceptable. I do not understand why someone has to use this blog as a means to attack innocent people. I would like anyone who writes these unkind words to print their name and telephone so we can all have an opportunity to defend the Bloom family.
You know, Molly is not my daughter and I feel such anger at the whole incident and the people involved. Why can't someone just own up to their mistakes? What has happened in this world that people do not feel they have to accept responsibility for anything. The funny thing is, it would not matter either way, the punishment for this man would have been no different. It just would have made him look like a better person, humbled by his error. It is all too often that the victim and the victim's family become the scapegoat for the atrocities of our fellow human beings.
Let us all go back to the reason for this blog. Molly has been badly injured and we are all here to support the Bloom family so they can find a little strength each day to go on. This is what they are given and nothing will change that, we can only help lighten the load.
As someone said a few days ago- "Go Away Bad Person" !
The purpose of this blog is for healing. A part of the healing process is voicing those feelings and thoughts that are not always so pretty and kind. Most of you who comment on these blogs are able to recognize this. For those of you who feel that this blog is an opportunity to address your own personal agendas, i would suggest you find your own blog to work out those issues.
The Blooms need this blog to track time. For many of you, you have been through the experience of spending months in hospitals and time has no place there. One never knows the date, time or day of the week because they all run into each other.Bernie's use of the blog as a marker in her healing process is just that. Her healing process. And if it comforts others around the globe and gives you an opportunity to share your thoughts and feelings...all the better. But know that I will not allow you to take advantage of this family or this very public forum which they have graciously allowed you to enter.
Beware...and remember that this is a place of healing.
as always....my love and care is always with my dear friends the Blooms.
marci
I have been reading Molly’s Page since the first day it appeared, yet I have been reluctant to post, despite the desire to do so. What, I have asked myself, could I possibly add that hasn’t already been said? And if I did write, it would be written far less eloquently than others who have written before me.
Yet each day I have returned to this site, reading every word; smiling some days, weeping most others. I have been concerned when there was no post, fearing the unknown; felt delight when the post spelled progress, experiencing a little more joy in my day that would otherwise have been lacking; and have been heartsick when Bernadine expressed her deep despair, wishing that I could reach out and make at least a semblance of difference to this family’s suffering.
When we are in desperate need, we often reach out to others in our longing for solace. In doing so, we are often astonished to find so many dear souls ready to reach right back and assist; often finding aid where we least expected it. This is a delightful and unexpected gift in our crazy mixed-up world. Molly’s Page is a welcoming beacon of light, showing the good in people and offering inspiration and hope to so many, with myself at the top of the list.
But, also in reaching out, we will find others who do not have the compassion we need, who do not have the understanding we seek, who will offer thoughts and advice that appear to come from another planet and simply see the world in a very different way. After re-reading these few posts (and remembering one really lousy one from the fifth day that was thankfully removed – but whose author I suspect has made a return visit) I would guess that they are the work of only two or three people. Not a bad percentage when you consider the hundreds upon hundreds of lovely, well meaning, heart-felt, genuinely loving, eloquent, and truly beautiful posts that have been made. I would take those odds any day.
I applaud the Bloom Family for their steadfastness. I admire a stranger named Bernadine who has become a dear friend to so many other strangers for voicing her true feelings and needs at a time when most others would, sorrowfully, turn into themselves. And I cheer for a young woman named Molly whose voice has been heard without her having to say a word.
In your time of desperate need, you have reached out and offered solace to so many. And yes, Bernadine, you have most definitely done it with grace and dignity. I, for one, wholeheartedly thank you.
My suggestion: the people who have criticisms for the Bloom family could start their own blog. Maybe they can call it People Who Are Better and More Moral Than Everyone, Especially Accident Victims and Their Families.
I agree with Anonymous at 5:31pm. ..."Go away Bad Person." This page is for love and support
He may escape human justice, but he will never escape Divine Justice. You have a right to be as angry as you need to be for as long as you need to be. You have every right to your personal grieving process...trust it.
Those of us you truly support you, support you unconditionally.
Take care of yourself,
Julie in Northglenn, Colorado
((((((Bernie))))))
thank you yet again for your honesty, courage and willingness to share so deeply with us.
and to all of you across the country and the world who share and care what happens to this beautiful family. your support of bernie's process, and the families process is so deeply loving.
many of us are willing to feel rage with bernie about what happened to molly. no problem. no guilt.
bernie, i smile and cry many times when i read your words. i have similar feelings as i read the many other stories shared on this blog. how very real!
may you all have a weekend filled with peace, love and rage if needed!
(denver bob, i will miss you the week you are gone. stay out of trouble, but bring back some good stories.)
east angle mom
The 9:51, 11:05 and 1:34 (over course of two days) posters are seriously delusional if they believe THEIR remarks are at all appropriate for this forum.
How DARE you judge this family
and lecture Bernie about her remarks being "probably not the best approach" and that "it's okay to think those things, but to act out on them by publishing them on a very public blog is wrong."
Um, well no. Since this is a blog for Molly's family, friends and countless caring folks from around the world (and NOT for a few pious, self-righteous, negative know-it-alls), how DARE you endeavor to direct the flow of commentary?
As I have said before, are you KIDDING me???
And for the poster who says that "our job is to love this man unconditionally...": um, well, *no* and you are in charge of the world because...??
MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, START A BLOG FOR YOUR FRIEND THE LIMO DRIVER, AND LEAVE MOLLY'S FAMILY ALONE you simple-minded jerk(s).
C
To the previous post...I didn't mean for it to ruin your day you pyscho. Calm down a little bit.. count to ten and then realize that you are extremely upset over a blog...yup a blog. It would be good if you would put some time and energy into something that matters. :D
Dear Readers All,
I am Bernie's oldest sister. Let me say that our family has always used fantasizing and verbally expressing those thoughts as a way of working through anger. Bernie has only done what she needed to do to get back to a state of calm; a place she knows she needs to help Molly. Would she ever do anything like that? NO, never. But think it through, see it and know it wouldn't change anything for the better for Molly or her, yes.
Love that man? No, really. Forget him, yes, because he's not worth a moment more of our time. Truly, this family knows enough about him to know that the legal system will not give Molly justice. But we also know that life, or karma, will eventually turn the tables on this man. There are more important things in our lives than spending time worrying about what happens to him--he's not worth it.
Bernie, I was so relieved to see you express your anger. I know it helped and working through it is only good for you. Doesn't matter one little bit what anyone else thinks or says. I saw how much taller you were standing yesterday after getting it off your shoulders and I was happy for you.
Miss Molly, every time I see you, you leave me speechless. Your maturity, your determination, your calmness with this storm around you is incredible. Your strength is amazing and that it's shared with your friends and family is a gift we cherish. I love you.
Bob and Katy, life will eventually have a normalcy about it. Different than what it has been, but it will become normal. Life doesn't always give us a chance to voice an opinion, but right now you all have that chance. Take advantage! I love you both.
Peggy
To the recent 11:47 a.m. poster who called me a psycho: Do not tell me how to think, feel, believe, behave or write.
YOU count to 10. You are upset because folks disagree with you and your insensitive lectures to a loving mother concerned for her child. Yup.
You say that "it would be good if you would put some time and energy into something that matters..."
Golly, thank you for assuming that I am a non-contributing member of society. You know nothing about me.
Thank goodness people like you are in the minority and that Molly and her family are supported by so many loving family and friends.
To Molly, Bernie, Peggy and extended family: my best wishes to you.
C
Can we please...stop,step back and breathe in breathe out! Enough already! No one needs this...The Blooms are human...time to think like Thumper and act like Thumper "IF YOU CAN"T SAY SOMETHING NICE...DON"T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!" And we were all how old when we were taught that! Opinions are like asswholes..everybody has one and they all stink sometime!The Blooms are decent enough to share their lives and only ask for your love and support and prayers.I myself have lived in hell a bit and watched my child suffer from a disease and when he got better...still not in remission, I watched my baby brother die from cancer and I still can't immagine their pain! Why because I do know Hell but I don't know what it is to send my daughter to her Sr. Prom and trust that she will come bouncing through the door with fun stories...to get a horrific call and my world is crashed and so is my entire families and so is evrything I know!And to top it off I have no control! Mrs.Bloom with deepest respect...please continue to update us and ask for what you and yours needs!I believe in the power of prayer (myson is still with me,even though the docs gave us no hope) My family is still intact and we are going forward just at a different speed and with much more realization of what is important! I say "Whatever gets ya through the day! Just never ever lose your hope faith and love! You and yours are superior!
Wow! The emotions! A lot of folks have a lot of strong feelings about this family! We love the Bloom's, regardless of what is posted. Stay strong!! Keep posting....because Bernie, you'll probably never realize just how many lives you've touched by doing this!
Hugs to Molly and family!
I have kept up on reading the blog, and I believe that what you feel is very justified. Sometimes it helps to get these words out. Nobody expects you to not say what is in your heart. God knows that should my son/daughter experience a terrible accident as Molly did, I would be all over the spectrum of emotions. You have every right to. I hope you have a better day tomorrow and all of your tomorrows.
Praying for your salvation!!
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