Sunday, June 25, 2006
Another Saturday night in the hospital. Molly should be out dancing with her friends. She will probably never get to do that again. She should be lifeguarding at Congress park. She will never get to do that again. I try so hard to accept this and keep moving forward, but when I look at the damage that has been done to her, I can't help but think that this didn't have to happen. Accidents happen. This was preventable. Molly is so medicated that I don't think she can fully grasp the situation. She is so calm about this, I want to scream for her. Why am I the only one who seems to be so angry about this? I know that anger is counterproductive, but it just creeps in. The driver gets to spend Saturday nights with his family. Molly is confined to a prison that she will never fully escape.
Molly has been stable since her surgery. She is up for visitors. Her nurse last night, Jen, is young at heart, was a swimmer, and can relate to Molly so well. We had a girl fest. Thank you Jen!
Molly has been stable since her surgery. She is up for visitors. Her nurse last night, Jen, is young at heart, was a swimmer, and can relate to Molly so well. We had a girl fest. Thank you Jen!
posted by Molly's Page at 8:36 AM
15 Comments:
Mom....just read your log and wish I could help you. I am sure we are all angry and anger is good to get it all out. Just don't let anger take over and I know you won't. You are all in our prayers.
Right now Molly needs to foucs her mind and energy on healing. There will be plenty of time for anger later on down the road. It takes a lot of energy to get fightin' mad. As Mollys mother you see firsthand the impact of this senseless tragedy. I know you are thinking of her future and what she won't be able to do. Instead try to think that at least she has a future and what she will be able to do. I bet she will be able to do most things. She is young and strong and will be able to do anything she puts her mind too. As they say where there's will, there's a way. Think of the positive things no matter how small they may seem. Take care and God Bless
Bernie,
My heart is breaking for you right now. I know that it feels like you are walking in the dark, alone. Please know that even if you can't see us, we are there. We are hurting for all of you, and we moms will always stick together. I am so grateful that you were chosen to be Molly's mom. You are just who she needs, you are sensitive to her as no one else can be, you are strong when she needs you to be, and you are gone when she needs you to be. Not many of us can be that selfless, you are just who you need to be, don't doubt that for a minute.
Bob,
Hang in there. What a great dad!! Did you ever notice how few dads were around at all of those swim meets? It was evident then, and continues to be now, that you are a dad who loves his daughters. Courtney G. has told me of all the times you would talk of Molly and James together while you did your route (by the way, I want to know how late the last person on your route got their mail ~ Chatty Cathy). I love sitting next to you, I love that you even made Hannah feel special by playing phone with her. You are Molly's rock, and comfort. Keep being you, funny, supportive, friendly, and above all fatherly.
Molly,
Wow! You continue to amaze me. You really should have been head girl. You have shown strength, and courage beyond what any girl your age should have been expected to. You have remained calm in the eye of the storm, while the rest of us have watched the scary, swirling darkness. You are really the light for the rest of us Molly. I am so proud of you, and so proud that I was given an opportunity to be involved in your life in some small way. Hand in there chik-a-dee ~ I really love you!!
Tons and Buckets,
Cindy
Dear Bernie,
How could you not be angry?? This is painful and senseless and unfair and infuriorating beyond words!! Believe me, we are there with you in your anger too. You are not the only one who feels this way. (It just doesn't feel very supportive to write about it here.)
And I so admire the way you have not let the anger affect your incredible graciousness toward others -- and your deep love for and strong confidence in Molly. Your strength, and your experience with being angry, will be crucial when she is able to be angry for herself.
You all continue to amaze me. Please take good care of yourselves and each other. And if there is anything we can do, please call.
We're all angry too. So many times, life just doesn't seem fair. But think how far you've come the last 6 weeks. This has been a horrible horrible reminder of how precious all our lives are. You have only two choices: give up or keep going. Both will be very difficult, but keeping going will bring you the most satisfaction.
Bernadine, this is really starting to wear on you. You MUST take care of yourself. Go out and get away from the hospital drama. Make yourself garden, go to a movie, out to eat, the art musuem, anything to get your mind off Molly for just a bit.
One step at a time......
Argh, I'm a mom of two (a twentyish daughter and an East High senior), and I've been a silent reader here, just aching along with you. I'm angry too! Life changes in a second, and we're all rushing headlong into change. But not at 17! Some days it must all seem irreparably broken. But then there's the resiliency of your beautiful daughter.
"Life is contracted,
And change is expected.
As in a season of autumn;
When the wind stops,
And the clouds roll on,
Nevertheless,
In their direction."
You're in my thoughts and prayers,
all of you.
Dear Blooms:
I think that you have every right to be angry. This should never have happened.
On a happier note, we are glad to hear that Molly is doing better and seems to be coming along. You may at times think that you are alone in this, but you are not. You have plenty of people thinking about you and praying for you.
Best Wishes,
The Fruhwirth's
I can understand how you are hurting. I know what you are feeling, live goes on for everyone else but you all are at a stand still. You sit there day in and day out wondering how Molly will cope with everything. I truely believe that Molly will dance again. She will have a fulfilling live because of her strong will and because of the parents and sister she has. She is a strong girl, but also gains her strength from her Mom, Dad and
Sister.
Please know that you all are in our thoughts and prayers daily.
Frannie & Lonnie
as trite as this sounds at a time like this, you must remember, things could be a whole lot worse. Molly's terrible tragedy, and the past 6 weeks of watching the world respond, has given me so much strength in dealing with my own adversities. Every day I think of how difficult my life is, I remind myself that Molly's difficulties are so much harder than mine: and so, for someone else in terms of Molly.
Life goes on......and it can be overwhelming at times, but the alternative is so much worse.
ONE DAY AT A TIME .....
as trite as this sounds at a time like this, you must remember, things could be a whole lot worse. Molly's terrible tragedy, and the past 6 weeks of watching the world respond, has given me so much strength in dealing with my own adversities. Every day I think of how difficult my life is, I remind myself that Molly's difficulties are so much harder than mine: and so, for someone else in terms of Molly.
Life goes on......and it can be overwhelming at times, but the alternative is so much worse.
ONE DAY AT A TIME .....
Bernie,
If molly isn’t fully grasping the whole situation right now, then that’s wonderful. it will come with time, and while her body is healing, she needs to be as positive as possible, working up to the hard days ahead. The last thing she needs is for these ideas of negativity to start sinking in... she WILL go dancing.
There will be a lot of things that will change in her life, but she is not trapped in a prison, she just lost her leg. Through all this, I have wondered countless times... why molly, why molly! And although I don’t understand why, I know that she is the only one who could take this challenge on, be ok, and come out on top.
She is excited about life still...look how hard she is fighting for it?! Nothing can take that passion away from her. Not even a stupid limo driver, not even a missing leg, not anything. She’s a fighter and I know you know this. You have seen her conquer far more battles that ever before, only in these past long weeks.
I hope you stay angry, if that’s what needs to happen, but I also hope that with that anger comes healing and peace. Molly has gotten a lot of her strength from someone very special... her mother.
I love you, I love molly, I love you all
Congrats on making it through another day! That’s always a challenge, and a huge accomplishment.
Keep up the wonderful work you are doing in your daughters life, and thank you for the time you put into these blogs, your honesty helps all of us, and I hope it also helps you. xoxoxoxo
Bernie, you deserve to be angry, and you have every right to express those feelings. I am glad you are doing so.
I have read your posts and the many responses since that first week, but I just have not known how to articulate the sorrow and empathy I feel for you, Molly, and your entire family. Words of a distant observer such as myself simply do not seem adequate. I know it is impossible to fully understand your pain.
I would like to say, however, that I hope you will use your anger when it matters most, and that you have superior legal counsel to thoughtfully guide you and make that happen.
You are so very correct when you say this was preventable. I don't blame you at all for refusing to call it an accident. This was hideous indifference, shameless neglect, outrageous stupidity, wanton carelessness, shocking idiocy. And your child was terribly hurt. It is a credit to your character that you are functioning so well.
Please know that so many of us care deeply about what happens, and pray that you and your family are able to find peace.
Best to you-
Molly will go dancing again, shopping, skiing yes, and even swimming again, the medical advances in prosthetics are so astonishing. When a person comes to them with a desire and a need for specialty prosthetics they rise to the occasion and come up with a working solution. Lets see,off the top of my head I can think of two diffrent double amputees who each respectively climbed mountains,One swimmer who had a special swimmers leg designed,and I am going to throw in the blind guy who climed to the top of snowy peaks to make my point. Molly's book has'nt been written yet, let her go over the rough draft and make the final revisions. I don't want to sound uncaring, Bernie and Bob you need some down time for your own health, or you won't be any good to anyone.
sending much love to your family
I have been checking this blog regularly for Molly updates, and I have to tell you that, although you are angry, most of your comments have been so filled with love and concern for Molly and others. I cannot imagine what you and your family must be living through, but you have one incredible family! No, you are not the only one who is angry, who doesn't understand why this happened to such a wonderful kid who happens to have such an incredible family. You are not the only one who is wondering why this guy is out on the streets, when he should be held accountble. We all are angry and full of questions.
Bernie, you don't know me, but you know my daughter and her friends who rode your bus. I feel as though I got to know you through them, with ALL their Bernie stories, and through your comments here. I cannot thank you enough for the love that you shared with those kids. They all love you, are praying for your family and Molly and still talk about you often! Thank you from one mom to another. Hang in there, take care of yourself and know that you have made a huge impact on so many.
I will be praying for you, asking God to fill your heart with grace and forgiveness so that the anger that you are feeling will soon disappear. I lost a wonderful friend this week and it has been more painful than I could have ever imagined. I find myself wondering why someone who was such an incredible human being could be taken from this earth when she gave so much and loved so much. I keep replaying the what if's in my head over and over again. I get right back to the place where I realize that things have changed forever and at some point I will learn to accept it. I know it won't be today or tomorrow and no one knows when you will find yourself at peace. I will pray that you find the peace that will allow you to move forward.
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